Sink or Swim

Somehow or other, we’re in February?

How did that happen?

Not only have we found ourselves in the second month of the year, but I’ve just finished Week One of Semester Two – that’s right – university is officially back in action.

Before starting university in September, I’d somewhat prepared myself for a few difficult weeks. I knew I was going into something completely new; stepping out of my comfort zones in all walks of life – and had done my best to prepare for it… It was hard – and I’m glad that in many ways, I never have to go through that again to the same extent.

But, maybe I lulled myself into a false sense of security. I spent my Christmas holidays looking forward to coming back; full of expectation of what Semester Two could bring…but maybe forgetting to acknowledge quite how hard it would be.

Sink or Swim

This week has felt very much like I’m drowning; not so much in deadlines, because we’re not yet at that point in semester…but more a feeling of being totally overwhelmed, and not knowing where dry land is.

From being thrown straight back into socialising (almost 24/7), trying to remember how you’re supposed to read at university (any tips PLEASE send them my way, I’m totally baffled), and navigating living by myself again and all that entails (*note to self* – ensure the fridge is EMPTY before leaving for 6 weeks…) – it’s definitely been a week of trying to find my feet again.

I reached a point on Monday where I sat and realised that I felt way out of my depth. All I knew, was that as much as I thought I could do this, it’s going to be a lot harder than I expected it to be. And so, I’ve been taking each day as it comes this week. One day at a time, one step at a time. It feels as if this is a bit basic, or that I should be doing better than this – but at the same time, maybe that’s exactly what I need to do.

No Need to Worry

A wise friend reminded me this morning of the verse in Matthew that calls us to do exactly that:

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matt. 6:34

God knows what all our days hold, and has gone before us. It’ll do me no good getting stressed, anxious and overwhelmed about the length of my to-do list, or the events of the week ahead – instead I need to remember to trust God, and give it to Him instead.

There have been days this week where I just sat and questioned why I was even at university. I felt so out of my depth, and out of control, that it all seemed a bit pointless. But I also know that there is a reason that I’m at uni, and a reason that I’m in St Andrews, and at this time. Even when I can’t understand that, I need to try and choose to trust in God’s plan and purpose for my life – because His plans are greater than anything I could try and understand.

I’m not going to say that every day is a walk in the park. Because that’s not the reality of the situation, and besides – life isn’t like that. But what I will say, is that I need to challenge myself to affirm daily to trust in what God’s calling on my life is – because that way I’m not trying to do this in my own strength.

  • On my own, university would be too much to handle.
  • On my own, I reckon I’d melt under the pressures of socialising and making friendships.
  • On my own, I’d be lost and wandering; seriously wondering why.

Which is why it’s just as well I’m not walking this by myself. God’s gone before me; (and before you too), and he’s walking this with me.

God’s gone before me, and He’s gone before you too.

The perfect reminder of this was found in a song we sang this morning. I’d encourage you to go listen to it – but for now, here’s just one line.

“God I look to You, I won’t be overwhelmed. Give me vision, to see things like you do.”

My prayer is that I can learn to see things how He does. How he sees other people, situations, and even myself. In asking God for this; I’m hoping that the feeling of sinking may subside – but it’s definitely a choice I have to make.

 

 

At the beginning of semester two, I feel as if it’s a fine line between sinking or swimming – and it comes down to be willing to shift from my perspective, to God’s. In finding the bigger picture – I would imagine rather than seeing me struggling to stay afloat, I’m more likely to find a large floatation aid. God’s there in the struggles, He doesn’t just want to scoop us out – but will be there alongside too.

Another cracking song recommendation – PLEASE listen to it, it was my song of the year for 2017.

 

Anyway, here’s just a few of my musings on the first week of Semester Two. It may have felt overwhelming, and at times still is – but I also know that it doesn’t have to stay this way.

Lots of love,

Han x

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