Honest Reflections | Looking Forward

Honest Reflections | Looking Forward

“Hello March!”

Somehow or other, we’ve reached the end of February. (At least, when I started this post, it was still February. Hello March!) That’s just crazy! I’m not sure I’ll ever understand time properly. For all I know, when I think I’ve got it, life suddenly speeds up again!

My gap year is pretty much half way through, and in a way, that’s terrifying. Where that time has gone, I have no clue. I guess, thinking back, I’ve managed to fill those 6 months with a fair amount, but it also seems to have gone by in a blink of an eye. And so, it’s not without much doubt, that I feel like I’ll be sitting here in 6 months’ time, trying to figure out where the past 6 months have gone. And that time, I’ll be in the midst of packing to go to university.

Time is a strange thing, and one that has always fascinated me. How sometimes it drags, and sometimes it flies. There is never a rhyme nor reason to it, except for the old saying “Time flies when you’re having fun.” I’ve accepted now that I’ll probably never understand it, but I’ll continue to ponder time and its mysteries every now and then.

What’s in store?

When I sit and think about the next few months, I start feeling all different things. There are a couple of exciting things lined up, including visiting some university offer holder days, and travel adventures. The opportunities at work are growing by the day, and I’m learning more and more where my comfort zone is, and where those boundaries are. (That’s not to say I’m hiding behind them: being pushed beyond them is good, and in a way, what this year is about.)

I’m finding it hard to believe that I’ll be moving away from home in six months. I’ll be starting a new adventure, albeit one that I’m looking forward to, but also one that scares me.

I miss studying, and strangely, I miss writing essays. I miss getting stuck into something academically challenging, and that satisfaction when something’s completed, or it’s all righted. I also miss that feeling of being part of a community; one outside of Church. While I can’t be more grateful for my Church family, the line between working for and attending Church is a really fine one, and can often get blurred. I’m missing being part of music ensembles, and sharing a passion with other people, while also getting such enjoyment out of making music.

 

I know that I’ll find all of these things in university, and that’s the part that’s exciting. But I just have to jump over the hurdle of a few other, slightly scary things, to get there.

Things like moving away from home (and in my case, likely to be between 240 to 490 miles away), being surrounded by complete utter strangers, and learning to make friends, and fending for myself for the first time.

I’m thankful, regardless.

That said, I’m learning to be more and more thankful for the time I’m having outside of the world of education. It’s been a much-needed break, and I’ve learnt so much in the past six months, and I’m sure that’s to continue over the next few too. I can’t quite put into words how much of a learning curve it has been…but only say that I encourage taking time out and stopping. Change the pace of life.

Over the next few months, or basically until I move away for university, I’m going to try and do more of the following:

  • Slow down
  • Spend more time with family and friends that are around
  • Enjoy my down time – read more, create more, and blog more.
  • Be thankful for the time I have this year, the unexpected opportunities, and the ability to learn new lessons
  • Get excited about what the next chapter will hold, rather than letting fear hold me back.

 

It’s going to be an adventure, and whatever the next few months hold, I want to take hold of them, and make the most of everything that’s thrown at me. I may not know what’s coming, but I know that with God, I can do ALL things.

 

Looking forward, this is going to be my verse:

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”  Joshua 1:9

What adventures are coming up for you in the near future? How are you feeling about them?

Love Han x

 

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