I don’t know about you, but when I don’t know something, I’ll often try my best to find out the answer, or work out what’s going on. To put it bluntly, I don’t like not knowing. Even worse, is feeling out of control.
It can feel almost like a spiral. As if there’s one thing that I don’t know, and that’ll spark another question, and if they don’t get answered, then the anxiety starts to mount. Sometimes, it’s a quick fix: as simple as asking a couple of questions, and my mind is put to rest. But sometimes, it’s not that simple.
I’ve just been blessed to be able to go away on holiday for a few days, and spent five days in the Costa del Sol with my mum. It was lovely to have some quality mother-daughter time, but also really nice to just get away from everything.
It’s been about a month or so since I’ve managed to get a post written and uploaded, and for that I’m sad, but it’s partly because of what I want to talk about today. I haven’t had the time to write content that I’d be proud of, and I had to prioritise resting when possible!
I haven’t really spoken much about what I’ve been doing this year, in terms of my internship. I mentioned it – only to explain how my plans had changed, but other than that, I’ve kept pretty quiet.
I’d like to change that though, as I’ve been learning an awful lot this year, and I think it’d be good for me to document this, as well as share it.
So… what have I learnt?
I was driving home from dropping my sister off at school the other day, and unexpectedly, my music cut off. I was suddenly in silence, and this got me thinking.
And while I was driving, listening steadily to the thrum of the engine, the occasional rev, and the cars driving past, I had to stop and think.
When was the last time I found silence?
Somehow or other, we’ve reached the end of February. (At least, when I started this post, it was still February. Hello March!) That’s just crazy! I’m not sure I’ll ever understand time properly. For all I know, when I think I’ve got it, life suddenly speeds up again!
My gap year is pretty much half way through, and in a way, that’s terrifying. Where that time has gone, I have no clue. I guess, thinking back, I’ve managed to fill those 6 months with a fair amount, but it also seems to have gone by in a blink of an eye. And so, it’s not without much doubt, that I feel like I’ll be sitting here in 6 months’ time, trying to figure out where the past 6 months have gone. And that time, I’ll be in the midst of packing to go to university.